Beasts have been connected to war since ancient times, but not always in the ways you might expect. Let's take a look at...
The CIA Spy-Cat: Project Acoustic KittyThe CIA have come up with some odd ideas over time - one need only look at the attempts made on the life of Fidel Castro to see that. One of the strangest has to be "Project Acoustic Kitty" or an attempt to turn a cat into a cyborg spy.
To produce their operative, the CIA implanted an acoustic microphone in the ear canal of a cat along with a transmitter at base of the skull. A wire antenna was woven into the fur, reaching along the spine.
Of course, the CIA had forgotten that they were dealing with a cat. Trying to direct the $20 million feline spook was a nightmare... and when finally deployed, it wandered straight into a road where a taxi terminated the project.
After a series of "against all odds" victories, Morgan and his motley crew faced a superior force of Spaniards a the gates of Panama. The Spanish tried cavalry, only for them to run into boggy ground and be shot down by the experienced pirates. In desperation, they tried to stampede cattle into the besiegers. Rather than breaking the pirates, the cattle scattered in the boggy ground and then fled the gunfire. The stampede only served to give the pirates a supply of beef.
Cattle also saw use at the 1591 Battle of Tondibi between the Moroccans and the Songhay Empire. It looked like the Songhay would have an easy victory (outnumbering the desert-weary Moroccans at least 4 to 1) but they had failed to account for the power of gunpowder. The Songhay strategy was to stampede cattle into Moroccan lines, breaking them open for an infantry charge.
Instead, cannon fire and arquebus blasts panicked the beasts and sent them through the Songhay lines. The Songhay were forced to attack piecemeal - they were methodically cut down by the technologically superior Moroccans.
The Great Emu WarIn 1932, Australia faced a relentless and implacable foe with that would stop at nothing to raid the crop fields. No mere men, the belligerents were the booming population of Emus - flightless birds native to Australia.
Intending to counter the threat, a group of ex-soldiers set out in machinegun-armed jeeps. Whilst the soldiers had an early success when they gunned down a handful of the birds before they could scatter, future engagements were a wash. Between jamming machineguns, plenty of cover, a tendency to scatter and the sheer natural resilience of the birds, the soldiers had to admit defeat. The Emus had won.
The rulers of India made excellent use of elephants as well. On the battlefield they provided a towering vantage point - and scholars noted that the heavy temple bones of the elephant could offer a warrior better protection than a hill-fort. Trained to withstand blows (and possibly dosed with intoxicants) an elephant could crush infantry or cavalry with a sweep of tusks or trunk. A less common tactic was for the riders to be given intoxicants as well, leading to an extremely belligerent wall of drunken muscle smashing aside everything before them - the very epitome of shock cavalry. That said, the beasts were still prone to going berserk and attacking their allies - or quitting the battlefield entirely.
Elephants have also been used in more recent times to clear the debris of war. Ex-circus elephants were used to move heavy wreckage from bomb attacks in post WWII Germany, using their trunks to roll the twisted metal.
The Bithynians had their own problems, finding themselves menaced and outclassed by the Pergamenian navy - so Hannibal set to work devising a counter strategy. He sent out soldiers to collect any snakes they could find, which were then sealed into pots and launched from ship artillery. The jars shattered on impact and sent a mass of irate snakes across the decks, biting the sailors and generally causing panic!
Slug Gas AlarmsOne of the more terrifying weapons unleashed in WWI was mustard gas - exposure to this gas would cause chemical burns and pulmonary edema. To make matters worse, by the time a human could detect mustard gas it was too late to avoid exposure.
Across the sea, American mollusk researcher Dr. Paul Bartsch found that some of his leopard slugs had escaped into the furnace room... and seemed sensitive to the fumes. A little experimentation revealed that the slugs were able to detect mustard gas in far lower concentrations that humans, becoming visibly distressed in response. Soldiers were able to use captive slugs in the trenches as an early warning system, allowing them to get gas-hoods on before major attacks.
In 1961 the King's Guard were in Scotland to take part in the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo. After visiting the local zoo, Major Nils Egelien found himself taken with the king penguins - apparently their waddle reminded him of soldiers marching. The Major did a bit of negotiating behind the scenes, and in 1972 a king penguin named "Nils Olav" (referencing both the Major and the King of Norway) was adopted as the mascot of the guard.
The current mascot is the third of his name, and has worked his way up the ranks (complete with promotion ceremonies) until reaching Major General!
- The CIA Spy-Cat: Project Acoustic Kitty
- Clumsy Cattle Cavalry
- The Great Emu War
- Drunken Elephant Cavalry
- Snake Munitions
- Slug Gas Alarms
- The Penguin Major General
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| It turns out cats are not good spies... (Oren Peled) |
The CIA Spy-Cat: Project Acoustic KittyThe CIA have come up with some odd ideas over time - one need only look at the attempts made on the life of Fidel Castro to see that. One of the strangest has to be "Project Acoustic Kitty" or an attempt to turn a cat into a cyborg spy.
To produce their operative, the CIA implanted an acoustic microphone in the ear canal of a cat along with a transmitter at base of the skull. A wire antenna was woven into the fur, reaching along the spine.
Of course, the CIA had forgotten that they were dealing with a cat. Trying to direct the $20 million feline spook was a nightmare... and when finally deployed, it wandered straight into a road where a taxi terminated the project.
Clumsy Cattle Cavalry
In 1671 the city of Panama was captured and sacked by Henry Morgan after a drawn out campaign. Morgan and his forces were not fighting on behalf of a nation or ideological goal, but as a group of cut-throats out to get rich - or to get even.After a series of "against all odds" victories, Morgan and his motley crew faced a superior force of Spaniards a the gates of Panama. The Spanish tried cavalry, only for them to run into boggy ground and be shot down by the experienced pirates. In desperation, they tried to stampede cattle into the besiegers. Rather than breaking the pirates, the cattle scattered in the boggy ground and then fled the gunfire. The stampede only served to give the pirates a supply of beef.
Cattle also saw use at the 1591 Battle of Tondibi between the Moroccans and the Songhay Empire. It looked like the Songhay would have an easy victory (outnumbering the desert-weary Moroccans at least 4 to 1) but they had failed to account for the power of gunpowder. The Songhay strategy was to stampede cattle into Moroccan lines, breaking them open for an infantry charge.
Instead, cannon fire and arquebus blasts panicked the beasts and sent them through the Songhay lines. The Songhay were forced to attack piecemeal - they were methodically cut down by the technologically superior Moroccans.
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| Hard to stop... (David Clode) |
Intending to counter the threat, a group of ex-soldiers set out in machinegun-armed jeeps. Whilst the soldiers had an early success when they gunned down a handful of the birds before they could scatter, future engagements were a wash. Between jamming machineguns, plenty of cover, a tendency to scatter and the sheer natural resilience of the birds, the soldiers had to admit defeat. The Emus had won.
Drunken Elephant Cavalry
One well known user of exotic military animals was Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general said to have taken war elephants across the Alps into Rome. It's even been suggested that the beasts were armored and given alcohol (there's ongoing debate about the possibility of elephant intoxication) before being goaded into a frenzy and pointed at the enemy. Even if these stories are an exaggeration, an elephant is a big lump of muscle with a very thick hide and tough, heavy bones - they would have been a nightmare for infantry to face. Unfortunately, these are high maintenance animals - and eventually the Romans realized that attrition could do the fighting for them. A prolonged campaign of hit and run warfare wore Hannibal down, until he was forced to withdraw.The rulers of India made excellent use of elephants as well. On the battlefield they provided a towering vantage point - and scholars noted that the heavy temple bones of the elephant could offer a warrior better protection than a hill-fort. Trained to withstand blows (and possibly dosed with intoxicants) an elephant could crush infantry or cavalry with a sweep of tusks or trunk. A less common tactic was for the riders to be given intoxicants as well, leading to an extremely belligerent wall of drunken muscle smashing aside everything before them - the very epitome of shock cavalry. That said, the beasts were still prone to going berserk and attacking their allies - or quitting the battlefield entirely.
Elephants have also been used in more recent times to clear the debris of war. Ex-circus elephants were used to move heavy wreckage from bomb attacks in post WWII Germany, using their trunks to roll the twisted metal.
Snake Munitions
Whilst the idea of smearing snake venom on arrow and spear tips is pretty common thorough the world, the same Hannibal that fielded war elephants took things farther. After being driven into exile from Carthage by the victorious Romans, he took refuge with the Bithynians.The Bithynians had their own problems, finding themselves menaced and outclassed by the Pergamenian navy - so Hannibal set to work devising a counter strategy. He sent out soldiers to collect any snakes they could find, which were then sealed into pots and launched from ship artillery. The jars shattered on impact and sent a mass of irate snakes across the decks, biting the sailors and generally causing panic!
 |
| A gas alarm? (Abbey Lee) |
Across the sea, American mollusk researcher Dr. Paul Bartsch found that some of his leopard slugs had escaped into the furnace room... and seemed sensitive to the fumes. A little experimentation revealed that the slugs were able to detect mustard gas in far lower concentrations that humans, becoming visibly distressed in response. Soldiers were able to use captive slugs in the trenches as an early warning system, allowing them to get gas-hoods on before major attacks.
The Penguin Major General
It's not uncommon for a military unit to have an animal mascot. Some (like Corporal Wojtek the Polish bear) have even obtained rank. None of them come close to "Major General Sir Nils Olav III, Baron of the Bouvet Islands" a king penguin with a knighthood from King Harold of Norway and the mascot of the Norway King's Guard.In 1961 the King's Guard were in Scotland to take part in the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo. After visiting the local zoo, Major Nils Egelien found himself taken with the king penguins - apparently their waddle reminded him of soldiers marching. The Major did a bit of negotiating behind the scenes, and in 1972 a king penguin named "Nils Olav" (referencing both the Major and the King of Norway) was adopted as the mascot of the guard.
The current mascot is the third of his name, and has worked his way up the ranks (complete with promotion ceremonies) until reaching Major General!
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