Until death do us part is probably one of the most well known parts of Christian marriage, but many other cultures take a different view of matrimony - up to and including marrying the dead. Let's take a look at...
- Japanese Spirit Doll Marriage
- Mormon Marriage by Proxy
- Chinese Ghost Marriage
- Backdated Weddings in France
- Standing In for the Dead or Levirate Marriage
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| Different cultures, different approaches... (devans1202) |
Japanese Spirit Doll Marriage
It was thought that the ghost of an unmarried person could take any frustrations out on their family, causing them misfortune. In one instance during World War II, a Japanese family consulted a medium after the death of their son in combat. Apparently they received a message that he was alone between worlds, and that he deeply desired a companion, asking for a doll to be enshrined to as a consort.
Interestingly, unmarried bachelors of the Pallis and Vaniyans of South India may be married to an akra plant to placate their spirit!
Mormon Marriage by Proxy
In Mormonism, marriage is considered to extend beyond death - and as such, a couple may also be married after death. The general advice is that only direct descendants of the bride and groom can initiate a marriage, but there have been exceptions.
In one particularly disturbing instance, Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings were both baptized and "sealed" or married post-mortem, without any consideration as to their own opinions. While the two were paramours, it is worth remembering that Jefferson also owned Hemings - which puts an even more disturbing spin on the situation.
Chinese Ghost Marriage
A tradition that dates back hundreds (possibly thousands) of years and can still occur in China to this day, mínghūn or ghost marriage is an attempt to find a suitable spouse for one who has died unmarried. The reasons vary - but they can include improving the status of the deceased in the afterlife, placating the spirit or even as a way of obtaining a daughter-in-law who could then adopt a child and continue the family name.
The ways in which a "spouse" may be acquired vary, with some families paying hospitals to fabricate documents and let them take their pick, or the old classic of grave robbing. In 2013, four Chinese men were convicted of doing just that - apparently the price of a quality corpse can be £25,000 on the black market. Less wealthy families might settle for a fake corpse or an older one that has been reinforced with wire. There's also been murder cases where the motive was to provide ghost brides.
Once a corpse is obtained, the blanched bride and her groom are buried together with paper money (and sometimes representations of household goods) being burnt in front of the grave as a sacrificial dowry. There is also an important secondary effect for an unmarried female undergoing ghost marriage - they are added to the shrine of the groom's family, meaning that their memory can be worshiped. Without this, an unmarried woman is doomed to fade from memory.
Interestingly a similar practice occurs in the Tulu Nadu region of India, where the spirits of two unwed deceased can be married together. One example from 2024 saw a family putting out an advertisement in the paper, looking for a suitable groom who'd been deceased for 30 years - the family in question had become convinced that their long-dead daughter had grown angry with them!
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| Sometimes, marriage was used as a way to placate the dead... (Erik Müller) |
Backdated Weddings in France
Did you know that France is one of the only countries in the world that legally allows marriage between the living and the dead? The French civil code allows the president of the republic to authorize the ceremony.
This part of the code comes from 1959, when the Malpasset Dam broke and killed over four-hundred people in a flash flood. President Charles de Gaulle was begged by a survivor, Irène Jodard, that she be allowed to marry her deceased fiancée - he assented, and had the provision written into law.
There are some rules to this procedure. The widow and deceased have to have been preparing to marry before the death, with evidence such as a wedding announcement in the papers being required. Furthermore, the family of the deceased must assent. If the application is successful (and it usually is) the marriage is backdated to a day before the death, and treated like any normal union.
Standing In for the Dead or Levirate Marriage
The tradition of Levirate marriage (described as Yibum or Yibbum in Hebrew) requires that a man must marry the childless widow of his brother, so that they might produce an heir that bears the name of the deceased and thus keep the bloodline alive.
In Judaism, if the brother refuses to marry the widow, the widow can go to a council of Elders and summon the brother for the halitza - or ceremony of the removed sandal. If he states that he will not marry her, she may loosen one of his shoes and spit in front of him, after which she is free to marry whomever she wants.
A similar practice can occur amongst the Nuer of Sudan. If a man dies without male heirs, he may be "married" to a woman while one of his living kin stands in for the biological and social requirements of the union. Any children resulting from this arrangement are considered to be spiritually & legally the descendants of the deceased. It can also help prevent any attempt to relieve a widow of property shared between her and her deceased husband!
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